TLC
by Genie007
Summary: She just needed someone to want her, to want to take care of her, to want to love her.
1. Chapter 1

TLC

Ok guys! I'm very new to this whole writing thing so please be gentle with me. I love CM and decided to try my hand. Rated M for now, just to be safe. Please R&R and tell me what ya think!

Disclaimer: Oh yea….I'm required to do this….unfortunately. I do NOT own Criminal Minds. *makes sad face*

Plus plus also and...the updates might be a bit slow. My internet connection is sucky right now so it makes updating regularly almost impossible.

Ta, Gen Now on with the show!

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Penelope Garcia was one tired tech kitten. It had been a grueling 2 weeks of all-nighters and meals that consisted of coffee and skittles while rummaging through the creepy skeletons in some sickos closet. But it was finally over and her super heroes were on their way home, safe and sound and no worse for the wear. Her team was her family. She worried for them every time they went out into the field and sent up a prayer of thanks every time they returned safely. Deciding there was no point in waiting any longer she moved to shut her babies down and head home. Sometimes she missed waiting for her friends, Derek in particular, to get back to base but things had started to get stilted. Almost as if they didn't really want to see her but were indulging her need to see with her own eyes that they were all still in one piece. So she stared saving them the trouble.

Entering the elevator she made a mental note to text JJ and Emily that she was headed home and ask them to do the same once they landed. They always did and for that she was grateful. _Now it's time to give Momma some TLC. _She smiled at the thought. Usually Morgan would be the one saying that but something was changing in her Hot Stuff and had been changing for a while now. Their relationship was getting rock but in the last few weeks there was a sharp drop and things went from 'ok' to 'nonexistent'. Gone were the good days of their friendship now she was lucky to get a 'hello' most days. And the girls and Reid had started calling from the field more and more. It hurt, it hurt like hell. Still she tried to get him to open up. To see that she was still the same Garcia that she'd always been. Unfortunately it wasn't working. Making her way to her car she decided it was time to stop replaying things in her head. It was what it was. Nothing could change it. At least until a few weeks ago she still had someone to come home to. Sitting in her beloved Ester in the FBI car park her thoughts took an unwanted turn to the last conversation she had with her ex.

_Flashback 4 weeks ago_

"I really didn't want to do it this way." Kevin's voice was nervous as he moved bits of his steak around his plate.

"Do what, what way, Kevin?" She was slightly confused now. They had come to a nice restaurant to relax before and start their 3-day weekend early. Thursday's were always quiet at Bernini's and she knew Kevin loved their pasta which is why she had chosen this particular place. Tonight though he'd ordered steak which made her wonder if something was up. Kevin always ordered the same thing; three-cheese ravioli in marinara sauce. It was one the more popular items on the menu and Penelope thought it went rather well with her eggplant, especially when they shared bites from each other's plates. Tonight, there was no pasta and definitely no sharing. He'd been unusually quiet and fidgety, it made her uneasy.

"I don't think this is working out?" He replied.

"Dinner?" She was being purposefully evasive. She didn't want to have this conversation here. To be honest she didn't want to have this conversation at all and but to say that she was shocked was an understatement. The last few months had been rough and more work than usual. They were arguing more and more about increasingly aggravating things. Like what movie to watch, _who does that, and _where Kevin's socks belong after he shucks them off at night, _not on the floor of the bathroom!, _and the fact that dishes should either be washed or put in the dish washer and not left in the sink! In the back of her mind she knew this was coming she just didn't expect it now, during dinner.

"No Penny." She shuddered at the nickname. "I don't think our _relationship_ is working out. You've been staying at work longer at night and nagging me to pick up after myself _all the time_ and to be honest the sex hasn't been that great. Most of the times I feel like you're just doing it to keep me happy. I need more than that. I could get the nagging at home from Mother I don't want it from my girlfriend. I want a girlfriend that is all in and not rushing off to spend her every free minute with Derek Morgan!" Kevin continued to vent his 'feelings' loud enough for the closest couple five tables over to hear but Penelope had a tuned him out after Derek's name. She actually hadn't been spending much time with Morgan. He'd been ignoring her after working hours. During cases and over the phone he was his normal 'player' self; it was all 'baby girl' and 'goddess'. But after the lights were out and the files completed he shut her out. No movie nights, drinks or 'dates'. She didn't understand where Kevin was getting the idea that she spent all her free time with Morgan. And then she heard it.

"I've been talking to Marian and she said that it isn't normal for someone like him to be so…well…flirty with someone like you and-"

"Wait!" She was angry now, "What do you mean someone like me? And you've been talking to Marian from accounting! That woman whose been snuggling up to you in the break room even though I'm standing right there and bringing you coffee and lunches and generally trying to break us up?"

"Well technically she isn't trying to break us up, she did. I've been seeing her for a few weeks now. We haven't slept together or anything I wanted to respect you, I was just waiting for the right time to tell you." He at least had enough manners to look slightly ashamed of himself. "And let's be honest! People that look like Agent Morgan don't go for girls that look like you. You know you could stand to lose a few pounds."

Penelope had heard enough. "Listen, you spoilt, lazy, sorry excuse for a man, I don't care what Marian from accounting thinks about my relationship with my best friend and as for respecting me that went out the window when you started cheating on me! News flash Kevin, you don't have to sleep with someone else to cheat on your girlfriend! And those pounds you think I could stand to lose you certainly weren't complaining about them when you were getting laid on a regular basis!" She stood and grabbed her purse, laid a few bills on the table for the meal and started to head for the door only to turn back. "I'm more than happen to give you back your single status, Kevin. To be honest you're more work than you're worth." Then she leaned closer to the table and expertly delivered her last jab.  
>"The sex hasn't been doing it for me either. I'm so tired of not getting off every time we do it. Maybe you should figure out where the g-spot is before you and Marian start sleeping together. She'll probably keep you around longer than the first night if you do." She stood, patted him on the shoulder softly and spun on her heel toward the door.<p>

And never looked back.

_End of Flashback_

She hadn't broken down that night until she got home. She'd thought about calling JJ or Emily but didn't have the energy to explain everything. And then her thoughts had turned to Morgan but she honestly hadn't known where they stood at the time so that idea was ruled out. In the end she had settled for a tub of Rocky Road and Sex and the City. It did the trick for the night. Despite her confident appearance, Kevin's words had played on old insecurities that still ached. She knew that men like Morgan most definitely _did not_ go for girls that look like her. Battle was proof enough of that. But in the back of her romantic heart she still entertained some hope that maybe, after all these years; Derek Morgan would finally look her way. So instead of pining away waiting for her Prince Charming to ride in and rescue her; she worked. And she wrote. She had recently discovered the lost art of journaling. She did it every day, multiple times if needed. It helped her gather her thoughts and emotions and put them in their correct compartments so she didn't have to think about them throughout the day and wouldn't have to deal with them at inopportune moments. She would write them down and work through them later, at her own pace in her own way. She would probably stop one day but for now it was like therapy. It was helping her figure out who she was in her own eyes. And she was finding that she liked who she saw in the mirror every day. Not just her body but her soul, her spirit and her mind. She loved everything that she was. Albeit said person reflected in the mirror was more conservative and a bit more sad than usual but not having a best friend to share your life with will do that to a person.

She let out a deep sigh, switched Ester on and opened her phone to text her girls. All she wanted to do was get home and give herself a little TLC. Maybe take a shower and then relax on her couch with a good book and a glass of wine.

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	2. Chapter 2

Alright Lovies, here's chappy 2! I'm leaving for the holidays so don't expect and update until after the new year unless I find some time. Sorry it's so short. :(

Again: I don't own anything...I only wish I did!

Ta~Genie

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"Well that sucked." Penelope whispered to herself in the process of making her way from her nice, warm, messy but otherwise unused bed toward her shower. She hadn't been able to sleep much last night. Emily and JJ had sent texts when they had finally landed. Logically she knew that all her superheroes had come home safe so worry hadn't been what kept her awake.

"Right! Time to face the music, Garcie." As Garcia stared into her refection in the mirror she wasn't too pleased with what she saw. She actually had to go out in public today and if the dark bags under her eyes were any indication she was going to need a LOT of concealer to make herself presentable, at least by her uber high standards anyway. Shaking her head she turned to the shower, closed the curtain and flipped on the water. Getting her chilled body under the warm spray helped to clear any lingering cob webs from her brain and then she was able to think about the previous night and who, it was that had occupied her thoughts. Derek Morgan. That man had slowly and steadily wormed his way into her heart no matter how much she tried to fortify it from him. She lived, _had lived_ she mentally corrected herself, for their flirting and relished the nights of staying in and enjoying old movies together curled up on his couch. And that smile. His patented 'Morgan grin', with that naughty glint in his eye and his thousand-watt white teeth shining back at her. That grin did things to her. It made her weak-kneed and light-headed and although she had become a considerably better at hiding her reaction to it over the years it still got to her. Even now. As the water rained onto her shoulders Penelope figured it was high time she shoved her stupid, idiotic, romantic thoughts of Derek Morgan out of her head for good and finished the process of getting ready to face the world. If only her heart would cooperate.

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Running through the rain in high heels sucked! And as she nearly slipped and fell on her nicely rounded tushy in front of God and everyone she cursed herself for wearing them for the 15th time since she left her house. Her fashion choices were not dictated by the weather but today they probably should have been. It was pouring and her 4-inch cherry red pumps were not the best footwear choice she'd ever made but then again neither was reminiscing about her uber-hot, hunk former best friend in the shower either. Reminiscing led to fantasizing and fantasizing led to _other things._ And that was why she was running in the first place, she was late. And Penelope Garcia hated nothing more than being late.

Derek Morgan watching in undisguised fascination as his Baby Girl ran quickly, if not carefully, through the rain. He doesn't know how in the hell anyone ran in heels that high but his Baby made it look easy. He jolted quickly as she almost slipped but caught herself before she needed assistance from anyone. As he dropped his hand back to his side he realized that she probably wouldn't welcome his help anyway. He had been a lousy friend lately and he knew it. He started ignoring her more and more because he didn't have the strength to pretend he was ok .The cases were starting to wear on him. It wasn't one in particular, it was the combination of too many cases, not enough sleep and more violence then anyone should have to deal with. What he didn't take into consideration was that by pushing Penelope away he was also pushing away his peace and sanity. His Solace. Penelope was the light that led them all home after tough cases but to him she was so much more. He didn't have to pretend with her. She knew how cases affected him so she knew when he needed to talk and when he just needed someone around. Someone next to him to remind him that he wasn't alone. His feelings for her were changing, no-they had already changed and now he wanted to do something about them. Kevin Lynch be damned.

"Your coffee, Agent Morgan." Derek startled slightly as the your Barista held to cup out for him.

"Thank you." He grinned and winked at the girl in an attempt to apologize for his lack of attention and moved toward the elevator to stand by his girl.

"Morning Princess." His standard greeting sounding foreign even to his own ears. Her shoulders jerked and he thought her head might just fly off her neck if how fast it swung toward him was any indication. Her wide, innocent eyes stared at him in confusion for a moment before she offered a simple greeting.

"Good morning Morgan." Said with a smile it would have been all he'd need to start a conversation but her tone was cold and distant and there wasn't even a hint of a smile on her perfect red lips. _Red to match her shoes. _He thought before he could stop himself.

The soft ding of the bell and swoosh of the doors quickly diverted Garcia's attention before he had a chance to think of something appropriate to say. He let her move into the box first and moved to stand beside her, taping a light rhythm on his coffee cup with his fingers, a habit he did when nervous that he couldn't seem to break. _Well this isn't awkward at all_ He thought sarcastically as the doors started closing and he realized that they would be the only two enjoying the ride up several floors.

"Look Baby-"He was abruptly cut off by a swift hand coming between the rapidly closing doors. Garcia's eyes flew from his to the elevator doors popping back open and revealing a wet, disheaveled and now rather nervous looking Kevin Lynch. _Not awkward at all. This is just great!_ Derek couldn't help but roll his eyes and huff back into the far corner of the suddenly too small box. His opportunity to talk to Garcia alone and in a semi-private place was just to hell. There would be no getting between the love birds now. So much for his good mood.


	3. Chapter 3

TLC Chapter 3

Thanks for all the lovely reviews! I'm so grateful! I'm finally back from my holiday and over my nasty flu, thank the Lord, so here's the next chapter! Enjoy!

Ta~Gen

_Oh no! Not today._ Penelope thought as Kevin's eyes shifted between Morgan and herself as if debating whether or not getting into the elevator was worth the risk. She was already on edge. First she was late, then the rain and finally, very unexpectedly Morgan's behavior. They had hardly spoken in weeks and his old standard greeting just about knocked her flat she was so surprised. She didn't want to have to deal with Kevin too. They had successfully avoided one another since their dinner disaster 4 months ago and she wanted to keep it that way! She didn't want to be in the same building with the man let alone the same elevator with her former best friend, who still did NOT know what had gone down and despite the fact that they had barely spoken for 4 and a half months she knew that if Derek found out that Kevin had cheated on her he'd be furious.

"Get in or get lost, Kevin." She was losing her patience. Her words seemed to jolt Kevin out of his dream-like state and he took up a place between her and Morgan. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Derek's brows rise with questions but he made no move to ask them and she knew that they would be having a discussion later. Derek was never one to let things go.

_This is just great. It's gonna be one of those days. _She prayed to high heaven that 5 pm would come fast or that they caught a case and she wouldn't have to deal with this situation. She inhaled a deep, calming breath, closed her eyes and waited for her stop. If she couldn't see it she could almost make herself believe she was in the elevator alone. _Almost._

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He knew something was off the minute Lynch's eyes flew wide when he saw Penelope in the elevator. Even if Derek wasn't a profiler he would have noticed that the man was nervous as hell. He was fidgety, sweating and for the first 3 floors all he did was pull at the collar of his obnoxiously orange shirt and clear his throat. Something was definitely up! And from the looks of things it hadn't been recently. His Baby was stiff and cold. She didn't talk to Kevin, nor did she smile at all. And the words she practically spat at the dweeb were filled with ice and venom in the same measure. The temperature in the small box the three of them occupied was quickly moving from frigid to frozen as the floors passed.

_What the hell happened? _He couldn't help but give himself a mental kick in the ass for having missed this. It seemed that Garcia had finally come to her senses about how unworthy of her Lynch actually was. There isn't a man on the face of the planet who could deserve her.

_Except you._ His subconscious supplied a retort pretty quickly to his line of thinking but he corrected himself. He wasn't going to fool himself into thinking he deserved her on any level let alone as the woman he wanted to spend his life with. The ding of the elevator bell made him push his thoughts to the back of his mind and he was never more grateful. He wanted to talk to Penelope-now!

He followed them both from the elevator and accelerated his pace to keep up with Garcia. If he was going to catch her before she sequestered herself off in her lair he needed to do it now. Unfortunately _Lynch_ had the same idea.

"Penny, wait!" Kevin's voice was timid but sure and Derek nearly collided with Pen as she came to a sudden halt. He stepped out of the way as Pen sighed in frustration and turned around.

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"What is it Kevin? I'm late, even more so now because it took you so long to get in downstairs. I don't have time to hear anything you have to say. As a matter of fact, I have absolutely no desire to hear what you have to say for yourself. Everything that needed to be said has been said." She was annoyed and she was angry. He had no right to say anything but he could have at least had the decency to wait until they were along before opening this can of worms.

"Penny, please just let me apologize! I never meant to hurt you!" Kevin's voice was rising and people were starting to turn and stare. But he sounded sincere. She cursed herself for her compassionate heart but decided it was worth the gossip if it closed that chapter of her life. She needed a fresh start. Maybe this was a way she could get it. She faced Kevin straight on and made a universal 'go ahead, I'm listening' gesture.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking and I've been talking to Marian some more." She stiffened at the name and he must have noticed because he barely took a breath before racing on.

"I was a jackass. You are a wonderful person. You're smart, and kind and one of the most amazing people I've ever had the privilege to know." He stepped closer and his tone got quieter. Pen found her heart softening a bit but when Morgan inched closer in a protective gesture she remember that she wasn't alone and that the lobby in front of the BAU bullpen was not the best place for this conversation.

"Kevin maybe we can go somewhere a bit more private for this?"

"No, Penelope. I want you to know how sorry I am and I want a witness for this. I was stupid. I knew when I met you that your heart was never going to be mine. You had already given it away. Don't say that isn't true because we both know it is. But I decided that I could deal with that." Kevin's voice wasn't accusatory or malicious and his eyes were filled with guilt. "I fooled myself into thinking I could take someone else's place in your heart. In the end though, I realized that you would never belong to me. Not fully anyway and you have no idea how much I regret how I hurt you that night. I know what it's like to feel like the outsider, like the one who doesn't fit in and with Marian I didn't feel that anymore but by doing what I did to you I made you feel that way. I was a coward. I didn't want to admit that our failed relationship was my fault. I had expectations that you could never live up to. I am so sorry. You are beautiful, Penelope, in every way. Never doubt that." She knew her jaw was on the floor from shock but somehow she couldn't find a way to pick it up. "Please accept my apology."

She didn't know what to say. He looked so filled with hope that she would forgive him. But could she? It took her all of 2 seconds to realize that she could and would. Her bitterness and anger would only hurt herself in the end. She smiled softly.

"Of course I will, Kev. I said some equally mean things that night to remember?"

"No, everything you said I deserved." He stepped closer and gave her a quick hug. "Thank you Pen." He spoke softly as he stepped back. "I don't deserve it but thank you. And don't forget, you're perfect. Now you need to go after your heart. It might just work out." He nodded to Morgan over her left shoulder standing a few feet away. She felt an uncharacteristic blush grace her cheeks.

"Thanks but I doubt it." She tried to smile to let him know it was ok but found she didn't have the energy.

"I don't." He said with a wink and a smile before turning on his heel and walking quietly down the corridor.


	4. Chapter 4

TLC 4

Disclaimer: I felt the need to remind myself once again that I do NOT own Criminal Minds.

A/N: Sorry it's taken this long for the update. With sickness, unpacking from a week and a half long holiday, Hubby losing his job and a million other things that combine to make my life chaos, it's been hard to get this chapter written. It's been in my head for about 4 days I just haven't had time. Now I do! Thanks for all the review, follows and favorites. They make me smile!

Now, enjoy.

Ta~gen

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_You aren't the only one who's a coward, Kevin._ Penelope thought to herself. Currently she was sitting in her office during her lunch hour because she was too damn scared to face Morgan. She had fled to the safety of her lair and her precious babies feigning work as soon as Kevin was out of sight and Morgan opened his mouth to find out what the whole scene was about. Her journal was resting open on her desk with the pink feathery pen she'd been using to jot down her thoughts resting between the pages. Normally she wouldn't get it out since anyone could walk in but her head was a mess and she needed some clarity. She needed to get her emotions under control. She knew Derek wouldn't wait for her to come to him all day. She had no intention of going to him ever about what happened today! But she also knew if she didn't go to him, he'd come to her. She knew her Hot Stuff like no one else. He was like a dog with a bone. He'd gnaw at it as long as it took for her to break and open up. She wasn't looking forward to that moment at all and if she could just figure out the quickest way to get him to drop it the better she would be. A gurgle from her tummy brought her back to her senses. It was no use. She needed food and now! If she was going to have a confrontation with Morgan later she would need her strength so she stood, grabbed her bag and quickly shut her door. If she was fast enough she hoped she could avoid any gossip.

"Not so fast, lady!"

"Oh God! Em, you just scared 5 years off my life!" She spun and put a hand to her chest, feeling the rapid beating start to slow down as she recognized her friend.

"Is there a case? Did you need me to find anything?" She prayed Emily had come with a job for her. She was dying to put this morning behind her and actually feel like she was contributing to something. Emily looked surprised.

"There isn't and I don't. But JJ and I were headed to Cal's for lunch and we wondered if you wanted to join us?" Emily's smile was all Penelope needed to know that she's been the talk of the Bureau this morning. She narrowed her eyes.

"Who told you?" Emily's hands rose in a time-old defensive gesture and she smiled.

"Who told me what? Can't I miss my friend and want to enjoy her company?"

"It hasn't seemed to bother any of you lately." She was being snippy and she knew it but honestly the universe was out to get her today.

"Whoa. Wait!" Emily raced around her to stop her progress toward the bullpen. "What does that mean?"

"You and Jayje have been doing just fine without me going on our little outings for the last few months so what changed?" Emily looked ashamed and sorrowful.

"Have we really been that bad?" She asked softly.

"Yes!" Pen all but shouted her response and then lowered her voice. "I know I don't see what you guys see every day. And I know I don't go through what you guys do but that doesn't mean that I'm immune, ok? I know these last few months have been hard. Cases have been longer and more brutal and you guys come home completely exhausted. I get that but you guys seem to forget that I'm still here. I feel it all too. Never mind the horrible things that cross my screens every day. I have to watch my team, my _family_, come home beaten and bruised. And when you start to shut me out it hurts more than knowing what those victims have gone through." Emily's eyes were wide with regret.

"I'm sorry, PG. I get so caught up in myself sometimes I do forget that you're always here when I need you. I don't have a sister so I forget how to do this relationship sometimes and I take you for granted. Please forgive me?" Penelope didn't have the heart to stay mad. Maybe things were looking up, first Kevin and now Em.

"Oh Honey, I'm sorry too. I could have said something I just didn't want to push." The embraced they shared did more for their healing than the words did.

"Now, why didn't you tell me about Kevin?" Emily asked as she pulled back.

"It wasn't exactly a shining moment in my romantic history and I kind of wanted to save face. " She hoped Emily would take that answer and run with it. She was wrong.

"Oh come on! He was the idiot and you have nothing to be ashamed about! And from what I hear he has come to the same conclusion. Are you getting back together, because that's the talk in the break room?" Emily was talking a mile a minute as they waited for the elevator.

"Slow down and breathe, sweetie." Pen said with a laugh and got into the elevator. "Yes, he apologized and yes he realizes that he was an idiot but no we aren't getting back together. We weren't good for each other and to be honest my heart hadn't been in it for a while before the breakup. I just wish he hadn't cheated on me."

"That bastard! He honestly thought he could do better than you?" Penelope smiled at the venom in her friend's voice.

"It's really ok now, Hon." She spoke the truth as she and Em made their way through the lobby and outside. "It's water under the bridge."

She spotted JJ on her cell phone, waiting for them.

"Ok," Emily said, "but if he even thinks about hurting you again I'll kick his ass!"

"Well, get in line because I'm first!" JJ stated as she joined them. Pen smiled, grabbed her other friend for a hug and the three of them moved off to lunch.

"I'll tell you the whole story over lunch, Kitten, but come on I'm starved!" Pen hadn't felt this good in a long time. _Things were definitely looking up!_

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Derek was proud of himself. He had waited until he absolutely couldn't stand the anxiety anymore before trying to hunt Penelope down himself. He waited all morning, hoping she would explain, but she had steadfastly ignored all of them. Well, him mostly. He wasn't stupid; he knew as soon as she bolted away from him after her conversation with Kevin in the lobby that morning that she wasn't going to want to talk to anyone. Still, he had held onto a miniscule amount of hope that was their 7 year friendship and hoped she knew he would be there to comfort her. She was his best friend and he liked to think he was hers. That had to count for something right? Did the same rules apply even if the last few months had been rocky? As he strolled casually down the corridor to her office he prayed to God that he still had a chance to fix it; to fix them.

"Sweetheart, you wanna get some-"His voice trailed off as he opened her door to find her office empty. Apparently she'd left for lunch even though it was after 1 o'clock.

"Damn." He whispered. He took a swift glance around her office, remembering all the conversations and sweet moments that had happened here. Trinkets adorned almost every available space on her desk and there were pictures everywhere. Ones of her support group, the team, even ones with her and Jack and another with Will, Henry and JJ. His eyes caught one specific frame and he moved to get a closer look. The frame was bright yellow and very sparkly; like a warm summer's day, but he'd never seen the picture inside. It was of him and his Baby Girl. It had been taken at the office Christmas Party a few years ago. He remembered the dress she was wearing in the photo. It was red and flared at her waist and she'd worn the same cherry red stilettos she was wearing today. He remembers thinking that he'd love to take her dancing just to see the dress/shoe combo in action. He hadn't noticed anyone with a camera at the party so the photo was candid. He and Pen were deep in conversation, totally oblivious to the world around them, and smiling. Actually he was smiling; Pen had her head tilted back slightly and was laughing. She looked gorgeous, all Christmas and light and joy. He wanted that back. He needed that back in his life. He slumped into Pen's desk chair feeling defeated. Then he noticed it; a journal, written by his baby if the hand writing was anything to go by. It was thick and leather bound. It looked like it was well used and though it had a magnetic clasp to keep it shut, away from prying eyes; it lay open on her desk, begging to be read.

A/N 2: Sorry, cliffhanger I know! But I gotta do it. I have writers block for the journal entry so I need a few days. Please R&R!


	5. Chapter 5

_Sorry for the delay, lovies. It's been a long, crazy week for me. Sorry it's short but I'm thinking this is the second to last chapter so bear with me. Please R&R _

_Disclaimer: I own nothing and am gaining nothing._

_Enjoy, Gen~_

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He knew, logically, that it wasn't right. He knew, without a doubt, that she would kill him. It would be slow and as drawn out and torturous as she could make it. But the temptation was too much. It was just sitting there, open and calling to him. He hadn't been 'in touch' with his Baby Girl in so long. He used to be able to know what she was thinking just by the look in her eyes but those days were few and very far between lately. He longed for a chance to get inside her head. And here it was, staring him in the face. Slowly he inched forward to stare at the page. Letters flowed neatly together, swirling and loopy. Her handwriting always made him smile. These words, however, made his jaw drop; six little words, scrawled on the 4th line from the bottom.

_I'm in love with Derek Morgan._

Derek felt his heart stop. It literally dropped to the soles of his feet and decided to stop pumping blood to his brain. She loved him, _No,_ she is _in love_ with him. There is a big difference. He knows because he's loved her for as long as he can remember but he's been _in love_ with her for the last 4 years. He just isn't very good at commitment. He knows he has issues but all that changed when his girl started dating another guy. He tried to push it away. He didn't want to screw up the friendship they had. His relationship with Penelope has been the longest lasting, most significant relationship of his life. He's never loved anyone as much as he loves Pen, except maybe his mother and sisters but that is _NOT_ the same thing.

Now he had a choice. He could take his new-found knowledge and use it to his advantage, well technically it would work out for _both _of them, or he could pretend this never happened and move on. It took him all of 2 seconds to decide. There was no contest really. When it came to his Baby Girl, he was all in. He just needed to convince her of that, without doing irreparable harm to them both.

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Penelope Garcia was a happy woman. To say fantastic would be over-kill but after her lunch with JJ and Emily and the unexpected addition of Reid she was feeling pretty good about herself and her life. As she strolled down the hall back to her office she couldn't help the smile of contentment that spread across her face, not that she wanted to. Shoving open the door to her lair she took note of the time and mentally berated herself for being late. It felt good to catch up and clear the air with her team, her family, but she also had work to do. Hotch had given her a stack of files just as she got off the elevator and now it was time for the mundane part of her job.

"Paperwork sucks." She mumbled under her breath as she took as seat and spun around to face her 'angels'. What she saw when she turned, though, stopped her in her tracks. She felt her heartbeat come to a complete stop, all the breath left her body and her eyes blew wide.

"Oh shit!" She had left her journal out and open on the desk, normally that wouldn't concern her. No one should be in her office when she wasn't in but today someone had. Her stomach dropped and she felt her heart suddenly re-start and begin to race in her chest as she read the bright orange post-it note attached to the page.

_Can we talk? I miss you. Call me tonight. xoxo Morgan_

Now he wanted to talk? After months of missed phone calls, ignored messages and movie nights. He just expect her to let him waltz back into her life! She wasn't stupid she knew the he read it; it was just sitting there, open, for God's sake. If she knew one thing above all else about her best friends it was that he was curious to a fault, especially when it came to her, and he knew how to use his charm. She was sure that when she saw him later, because there was no question she was going to call him, he would swagger into her apartment and smile that 'thousand-watt' Morgan smile and expect her to welcome him back with open arms. He was going to use whatever he read to his advantage and make her open up to him again. He had a way of doing that; profiling her and storing that information away for future use.. And she hadn't minded in the past. She had needed it before and after years of knowing him, she expected it. But to use it against her now, after all the distance between them lately—she wasn't sure what to think of it. The only thing she knew was that if he thought he was going to get off easy and things were going to go back to the way they were he was fucking _crazy_!

_A/N: Please don't hurt me. Last chapter will be up soon!_


	6. Chapter 6

Hey guys, I'm sorry this has taken so long! It's been crazy since the holiday but things are finally on a somewhat even keel so I'm finally getting around to posting this. My muse took a slight vacation but its back now! Thanks for being patient.

Disclaimer: I do not own Derek Morgan (tear), Penelope Garcia, or anything associated with Criminal Minds. If I did don't you think I'd be a tad too occuppied to do this. :P

Also all mistakes are mine, forgive me if you find any.

Enjoy, R&R

~Gen

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He was nervous. He knew he had every right to be. He knew that Penelope knew that something was up. He had left a note after weeks of silence and he had left that note in plain sight, right on top of her open journal, she had to know that he'd read it. To be completely honest, which he planned to be with her, he had only skimmed the page. He'd only actually read that last line. It had shocked him into…well guilt, for lack of a better term. He realized that he didn't want to force his way in. He wanted her to _let_ him back in. Now he had to make amends for all his wrongs. Which couldn't be too hard, right? This was Pen after all his Sweetness, his Goddess, his _Baby Girl_. He knew without a doubt that she would make him work for it, she was still Garcia, but he was prepared. He knew he would have to grovel and plead and bargain. Hell, he assumed he'd have to beg but he would. If it got him his Baby back, he'd do anything.

He quickly checked his watch as he sat in his SUV in front of Pen's apartment. Ten to 7. Ten more minutes and he could get this show on the road. Ten more minutes and he could win back his girl. Her text to meet her at her place was cryptic; short and to the point. _My place, 7 sharp. Don't be late._ That was his opening. Now he just needed to run with it and pray to God he didn't screw it up! Taking a deep breath for courage, he opened the door and headed inside.

She was nervous; nervous and furious. But she knew she needed to focus. She had to be believable to this to work. She needed to act normal. Well….normal for her anyway. She checked her appearance in the mirror one last time. _Almost 7. Ok Garcie, time to get your actress on!_ A knock on her front door kicked her back into reality. She took a deep breath and moved to answer it.

"Heya, Handsome." She opened the door with a sway of her hips and a smile. Just like her old self, and by the look on his face, she'd caught him completely off guard. Just like she planned. "Come on in." She reached out and tugged his jacket sleeve.

"Whoa, Mamma, I'm coming, I'm coming." He smiled and let her drag him into her home. This was going to be easier than he thought. She was still her same old self; charming, happy, care-free. He pulled her in for a hug and rubbed his nose into her hair, next to her left ear. She smelled like pears and sugar. "I've missed you, baby."

"I've missed you too, Hot Stuff." For a moment she let herself get lost in his embrace. She'd missed his warmth and comfort more than she ever thought she could. It wouldn't hurt to take a little for herself before she ripped him a new one. And the ripping was going to commence in 5, 4, 3, 2….

"What the HELL were you THINKING!" she let all her hurt and anger come to the surface as she pushed him toward the couch with all the strength she could muster. It was easier in her head, when she'd thought about this earlier, he was all muscle and considerably larger than her. "We haven't spoken in weeks, Morgan! Weeks and then you completely disregard my privacy and read my personal journal. Oh don't try to look so innocent! I know you read it; you know your curiosity could get you killed one day! As of right now I'm about 2 seconds from sending you and your freaking perfect credit score into oblivion so you better start talking and you 'd better have a good excuse for betraying my trust like that!" Her anger somewhat subdued she huffed and slanted her hands on her hips.

Derek didn't know where to start. He'd only ever seen her this mad once before and to be fair he hadn't actually been face to face with her during that infamous phone call. But the anger in her voice when she told him that he sucked was more than enough. Now to witness that fury in all its 'Penelope' glory was astounding. It left him speechless, not only because she had forcibly pushed him around her living room but because as he sat and watched her rant and rave at him, he only saw one thing. How absolutely stunning she was. He had always known she was beautiful, inside and out. But seeing her like this; cheeks tinged pink from anger and hurt, chest rising and falling rapidly while she yelled at him and that fire in her eyes. It was an amazing thing to behold. He hated that he'd hurt her and that she thought he'd betray her trust like that but what man didn't want to see passion like that on his woman's face?

"Are you even going to say anything? God, Morgan, what is going on with you?" She sat next to him on the couch and he flinched, for the second time, at the use of his last name. She never used it anymore. He saw her out of the corner of his eye; saw her fury rising to the surface again. He had to move fast if he wanted to salvage his hide and his credit. She got to her feet again and pulled him up with her, shoving him back toward the door.

"If you aren't going to talk to me and try to explain yourself then you can get out because I'm done. D-O-N-E, don-"Her rage was cut off as he turned quickly, roughly took hold of her shoulders and crashed his lips to hers. He didn't wait for her permission to continue. He wanted her. He was done waiting for the right moment. She was stiff in his arms for all of two seconds before she wrapped her arms around his waist and melted into him. He felt dizzy with all the emotions swelling inside him. He poured all his feeling into that kiss. His loneliness, his hurt, his desire and want for her. His hands weren't idle either, sliding up her shoulders and into her hair. The scent of sweet pear lingered around them as he slowly brought them back to earth. Gently easing his lips from hers, he pulled back to look at her face. God, she almost glowed! Her eyes still closed and lips swollen slightly from the force of their kiss. Then her eyes opened.

_SLAP_

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The resounding crack of her palm against his face seemed loud enough to wake the whole building. Her eyes barely contained the tears she was trying to desperately to hold back. Her hand came quickly to cover her mouth and she backed away from her best friend with a look of horror. She knew violence never solved anything, that's why she refused to get a gun even after she was shot and JJ and Emily had both asked her to. She reached to touch Derek's face, to comfort him, out of habit, but quickly drew back.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't…I mean…I just…" She couldn't stop the tears this time. She stepped by him, intent on getting out of sight as quickly as possible, but to her amazement he reached for her before she could successfully navigate around him. She fought him for a moment but it was useless and she gave up as he hauled her into his arms once more.

"Shhh, baby. It's alright. I'm here, I'm not leaving." He kept whispering into her hair, holding her tight as she sobbed into his chest. "I'm so sorry, Baby Girl. Let it out, it's gonna be alright." She felt him moving them to the couch again. He sat and brought her onto his lap, cradling her in his arms.

"Derek, I'm too heavy." She protested, crying softly still.

"Woman just hush. Let me take care of you." He scolded softly. "Let me hold you and you can just sit here and listen. OK?" He lifted his finger to her chin and brought her head up so he could look at her. Even with her mascara running faint streaks down her face she stilled look incredible. He leaned in and kissed her lips softly. "Just let me get a few words in before you try to take me out again, please?" He smiled softly when she nodded.

"I am so sorry." When she went to speak he moved his fingers from her chin to her lips. "I'm talking, remember?" She nodded once again. "I was stupid. I was blind for a long time and I was too jealous to even think straight. I hated seeing you with Lynch. I hated that he had what I wanted. But I really had no one to blame but myself. Every time I turned around there he was. In your office, at _our_ table in the coffee shop and calling you 'Penny', which, by the way, I know you loathed." She smiled slightly and looked a bit ashamed.

"I tried to tell him once but he always said it so sweetly. And he always complained that you got to call me baby and goddess and sweetheart but he only got to call me Penelope. I couldn't bear to tell him no again after that." Her face went serious again and her hands started to fiddle in her lap. She needed more from him.

"Why did you read it? It was still open when I got back to my office today. How could you do that, especially since we're barely speaking?"

"Baby, I didn't read it." He could tell he'd shocked her. She figured his curiosity would get the better of him and he'd just _have_ to know what was going on in that book. "I didn't read all of it." He corrected quickly. She stiffened in his arms but he held her in place.

"It was open and I skimmed the page. But I only saw one thing. One thing that gave me a light at the end of the dark tunnel I've been in. It said that you love me, that you're in love with me." He was whispering now, the conversation taking an intimate turn.

"I don't know how you never knew." She said, honestly. "I thought you could see right through me. I've been in love with you for a long time. Since before Battle and when you said you loved me that night I thought things were taking a new turn. But then we were the same as always. And Kevin was nice and _there_ and he wanted me. I kept things open and casual for as long as I thought I could. After a while I realized my dreams wouldn't come true so I tried to move on; tried being to operative word there."

He smiled with her. He could see it so clearly now. Her love for him was written so plainly on her face. All he wanted to do was thank God that she hadn't given up on him. Now it was his turn. He grasped her waist and moved her legs to straddle his, getting a squeak and a slight giggle from her for his efforts. Finally face to face with her, he cupped her beautiful face in his hands and spoke the words he knew she needed to hear and that he'd been waiting his whole life to say.

"I love you, Penelope Garcia. I love you more than I thought I could love anyone. You heal me every day. You make my dark world bright and you give me a place to call home. Without you I don't feel whole. I know it's cheesy and a total cliché but you complete me, Goddess. I'm so in love with you."

He watched as her eyes lit up and a bright smile crossed her face, only to be quickly replaced by a smirk.

"You mean to tell me, Derek Morgan, that you put us both through all this because you love me? And you couldn't find the time somewhere in the last God-knows how many years of our friendship to tell me!" She punched him lightly in the shoulder and her grin grew wider. "So you're telling me that I could've been having this chocolate god body all to myself for the last 4 years! Do you know how long it's been since I've had good sex? Don't even think about great sex because I don't think I've ever had that! This Mamma needs to be taken care of, Sugar Drop, and no one knows how to do it properly!"

He quickly captured her hands in his and brought them to his chest. Grinning like an idiot, he couldn't help but play along.

"Well if you're up for it maybe you could teach me? I'd love to know all the ways to take care of you. And you know; just so I make sure to get the most out of this educational experience, make sure you use specifics because I'd hate to miss something important."

She laughed and quickly brought her lips to his, their love and desire flowing from one to the other. She righted herself once again.

"I'm still sorry for slapping you."

"Don't be I deserved it." He didn't want her to have any regrets tonight. "I've played hot and cold for too long with you. If I hadn't known that you loved me before I got here I would've after that!" His smile let her know that all was forgotten and she couldn't help but think, for the millionth time since she met him and probably not the last, that he was wonderful. Stubborn but wonderful all the same. She stood and immediately he followed suit. She wrapped an arm around his neck and brought him close, their lips mere centimeters apart.

"Why don't you let me take care of you? Make it better?" She coaxed.

"Sweetheart if anyone in this room is getting some TLC tonight it's gonna be you!" His lips crashed to hers once more as he lifted her into his arms and headed for the bedroom. "Seems like I've got years to make up for!"

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A/N: Epilouge maybe? I'm not sure but I do take bribes. And if my muse cooperates I could probably make is 'M'!


	7. Chapter 7

TLC 7

A/N Sorry this has taken so long. My crappy computer went ka-put and then we lost internet for 3 weeks! However this is the last chapter, for good. And it's my first time writing something even semi-smutty so please be kind.

Also thanks for all the reviews, favorites and follows. Even though I haven't replied to every one I wanted to let ya'll know that they mean the world to me and make me smile every time I know someone is reading and enjoying my work. Thanks again!

Disclaimer: No I don't own anything, NO I'm not making any money from this and YES I think the writers need to get their shit together and let Morgan and Garcia have their moment already! Sheesh!

Ok on with the show,

Gen

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"Derek we have to hurry! Mmmmm….._oh yea_…right there!" Her squeal only furthered his need. "I'm serious Derek! We can't do this right now. I have to be resting and…._oh…_.._Derek!"_

"Baby, if you can't be quiet we're gonna get interrupted and then we'll never have any fun so please just hush and let me finish." He smiled up at her flushed face and slid her body closer to the edge of the bed so he could slip his arms under her thighs.

"Well stop teasing and I wouldn't be so loud!" He smiled against the flesh of her inner thigh at the irritated sound of her voice. He knew she was on edge but he couldn't help but draw things out a bit more.

"But, Momma, you know how much you like to be teased." He swiped his tongue against her flesh and blew softly on the damp skin.

"Not when I'm 8 and a half months pregnant, horny as hell and we have two children under the age of 5 in this house who never seem to leave us alone for more than 10 minutes!" She pulled herself up and rested her weight on her elbows to eye him with a mix of frustration and arousal. "Now if you don't get this show on the road and get me off I swear I will kick you out of this bed and find _something _that can!"

When his head lifted and made a show of taking his time thinking about it she lost her patience.

"Morgan, NOW!"

He smiled victory in his eyes, "You got it Baby Girl!"

He quickly came to his knees, moved her into the center of the bed and drove into her sweet, hot body with every ounce of strength he had.

"Yes!" Her cry of pleasure spurred him on. He rested his weight more firmly on his knees, used his right arm to sling her leg onto his shoulder and his left thumb to rub her clit. He wasn't going to last after the last 30 minutes of playing around that they'd already done.

"Come on, baby. That's it," He watched her face knowing she was as close as he was. He changed his angle once again and drew her legs around his waist. "Come for me….now!"

Her gasp of his name followed by a short scream, which was quickly quieted, and her muscles contracting hard as a vice around him was too much and he followed her over the edge into bliss, her name on his lips.

_BANG BANG BANG!_

"Mommy! Drew changed the channel again! You told me I could watch Dora and he changed it! Mommy!" The banging on their bedroom door sounded once again.

"Uhhhhh! Barely even a full half hour! I swear someday I'm gonna get you alone for longer than thirty minutes and really show you how much I love you!" Pen smirked at him as he lay in their bed trying to catch his breath. Pulling her clothes back on and smoothing her hair back into place she called out.

"Just give me a second Baby, ok? I just need to wash my hands and I'll be right out."

"But Mommy, I'm missing it!"

"Deidra Francesca Morgan what did your Momma tell you about whining when things don't go your way?" Derek quickly pulled his track shorts and t-shirt on and opened the door to see their 4 and a half year old staring up at him with her big blue eyes wide and brimming with tears.

"But Daddy, it's my turn to pick what we watch, Mommy said and Drew won't let me." He sighed and bent to pull her into his arms.

"It's alright baby, we'll take care of it but you don't need to whine. Mommy already said she would take care of it. Don't you trust her?" He talked softly to his youngest child as he moved toward the living room where he could hear the distinct sounds of SpongeBob Square Pants playing.

"Of course she does, don't you Deid? She just forgot what she's been learning." Penelope was quietly padding behind them intent on figuring this out so she could rest, which was when she was planning on doing 30 minutes ago before her husband threw that possibility out the window with full force.

"Yes, Momma." The little girl smiled at her mother from over her Daddy's shoulder and snuggled closer.

"Drew, what did I say about the TV this morning?" Drew William Morgan looked over his shoulder to see his parents standing in the door. "And what did I tell you about sitting so close to the TV? Honey you're going to ruin your eyes by sitting right in front of that thing. Now come and sit on the couch and give the remote back to your sister."

Drew stood and grumbled as he handed to remote to Deidra and climbed onto the couch next to his Dad. The three of them proceeded to watch Dora the Explorer and Penelope took the opportunity to admire where her life had led her. With 6 years of marriage, two children and another on the way, Penelope Morgan didn't think her life could get any better. She turned to head back into the master bedroom for some much needed rest when her husband caught her eye. He turned his head and gave her a quick wink and a smirk that set her insides tingling again.

"Don't start that again, Hot Stuff!" She smiled even through the reprimand. "Momma can only take so much exercise in one day!" He only chuckled and threw her words from so long ago back at her.

"You need to be taken care of, Sugar, especially when you've got my baby in there and I'm the only one who knows how to do it properly, remember?"

"Oh, I remember. I don't think I'll ever forget." Her soft smile and the hand rubbing her belly were the only confirmation that he needed to know that his baby girl was well taken care of.


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